October 2018

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Stop, Drop, and Roll

There are many milestones on the path to adulthood: turning 18, graduating from school, landing that first job, having a baby.  There are also less tangible markers of adulthood such as a shift in our perception of threats.  Saturday morning cartoons implied that quicksand would be a real and ever-present obstacle to daily life.  School assemblies left us wondering just how often we’d be catching fire.  Hollywood warned us about the Commie Reds invading our neighborhoods and training montages.  All of these threats were overblown.  Quicksand and catching on fire are extremely remote issues.  As we all know, Head of the Class planted the seeds of the Soviet Union’s destruction when they traveled to Moscow in 1988.  The USSR only lasted 6 months after the last episode of America’s favorite classroom comedy in 1991. Adult Problems Now that we’re older, we worry about adult things like jobs and babies.  One item…


shir-kay

I Blame SportsCenter

The market was down 3% yesterday although you’re more likely to see this as DOW PLUMMETS OVER 800 POINTS.  I don’t know why it’s down, but neither does anyone else.  No one knows what it will do from here, either.  However, I do know how things will play out on CNBC as every perma-bear in New York City is wetting their pants waiting for their booking agent to tell them what time to arrive on set.  I expect doom n’ gloomers making victory laps and appealing to our baser instincts. It’s All SportsCenter’s Fault The golden age of ESPN was wall to wall SportsCenter and actual sporting events.  Today it’s talk shows and even SportsCenter is less focused on actual sport and more story-driven.  Why?  Drama sells.  The WWE is basically soap operas for rednecks and you’re smarter than a redneck, right?  ESPN is the WWE of sports.  What’s really…